2010-03-12T15:24:58Z http://blog.johnmoyer.com/atom.aspx Quick Blogcast tag:blog.johnmoyer.com,2009-06-02:b15ef84f-f96e-4085-81bb-c4a95fd830c4 John Moyer 2009-06-02T17:44:56Z 2009-06-02T17:44:56Z If you don’t know what Kidz Bop is, you don’t have young kids. Or you do, but your child is named Helen and everyone makes jokes about her answering the iron.  Imagine turning on the radio and hearing the crappiest pop song possible sung by an adult. Now, picture the same crappy song sung by ten year old children! This is Kidz Bop: the brilliant marketing scheme of some music mogul somewhere. I don’t know what it is about the popular entertainment notion that if you make something younger, it makes it better. Case in point: ... tag:blog.johnmoyer.com,2009-02-11:31846b5d-678b-4a80-82de-b7c0eb0126fe John Moyer 2009-02-11T23:28:00Z 2009-02-11T23:28:00Z In early December, John and comedian buddy Mike Jenkins took to the open road of Montana for yet another run of one nighters. Every night they were in a different town but one thing remained the same: the people were all drunk and the hotels crappy. On the last night of the run John and Mike were in Miles City, Montana. The town is called Miles City because it's miles away from anyone or anything. Including a dentist's office. The local club where the two performed put them up in The Olive Hotel, a historical landmark in town. Historical ... tag:blog.johnmoyer.com,2008-06-15:939703ea-eb65-466b-a391-470f0e7c9f7b John Moyer 2008-06-15T16:51:00Z 2008-06-15T16:51:00Z A lot of guys refer to women as D.T's or even C.T.'s. I prefer to refer to women as E.T's; because at some point in every relationship a guy will look at his girlfriend and wonder when the aliens came and swapped her out for the woman he met six months ago.To be fair, that works both ways. Women complain that after a certain amount of time their man is not attentive enough or caring enough. And men complain that their women have become too attentive and too caring. Only men call it smothering and bitchy.Maybe relationships would be ... tag:blog.johnmoyer.com,2006-10-20:48fc02d0-c4db-4b88-b551-cdb924191f6d John Moyer 2006-10-21T04:50:00Z 2006-10-21T04:50:00Z Thirty years ago college students on campuses across the U.S would laugh to the likes of Robert Klein or George Carlin riffing about politics, religion, and current events. Today college students laugh at Dane Cook doing bits called “Itchy Asshole.” American youth are dumbing down and let’s not make any bones about it. The IQ of the average college age kid over the last thirty years has gone down faster than membership to the Mel Gibson fan club in Miami. The decline of grey matter in today’s young skulls can be clearly traced to the ... tag:blog.johnmoyer.com,2006-06-16:7755edd0-9f74-4ec2-9497-03875c47d383 John Moyer 2006-06-16T23:11:00Z 2006-06-16T23:11:00Z Summer time is finally here with all the fun and excitement of vacations, warm weather and that quality out door time. And more often then not, that out door time includes traveling carnivals: those proverbial fly by night amusement parks. Disneyland these carnivals ain’t, because you could never come up with a Goofy costume that looks goofier than the people that actually work at these places. I’m not sure what kind of half way house or mental institution or work release program they hire these people from, but it’s a little disconcerting to me that ... tag:blog.johnmoyer.com,2006-05-22:9e01bd3b-5876-4ba0-a79d-cd8a485b6fa5 John Moyer 2006-05-22T22:14:00Z 2006-05-22T22:14:00Z Next Monday is Memorial Day; or as I prefer to call it here in Utah: Let’s have a picnic on our dead relative’s graves! People in Utah, those that are alive anyway, will, in loving tribute of remembrance, break out the hibachi, thrown down some blankets and enjoy hamburgers and fried chicken just six feet above the rotting corpses of their loved ones. I saw a Tongan Family visiting some of their dead relatives last year and they were resourceful enough to use an empty grave for a pig roast. For those of you that don’t bring ... tag:blog.johnmoyer.com,2006-05-06:b92b63e9-5de9-4a8d-8e47-5e5bbc3258fe John Moyer 2006-05-06T18:59:00Z 2006-05-06T18:59:00Z TUNE IN MONDAY MAY 8, 2006 TO SALT LAKE’S KBER 101.1 WITH MICK AND ALLEN AT 5:10 PM TO HEAR JOHN READ THIS BLOG FOR HIS COMMENTARY SEGMENT, “MOYER ON THIS…” Several weeks ago a Brigham University Study concluded that on average, Mormons in Utah are 4.6 pounds fatter than non-Mormons… Yeah… And I need a university study to figure that out? I went to BYU fifteen years ago and one of the oldest jokes there was did you hear about the car that swerved to miss the BYU Coed? It ran out of gas. Now apparently ... tag:blog.johnmoyer.com,2006-04-30:e8c37fb4-2952-4c32-aff6-fe52f7485dee John Moyer 2006-04-30T20:13:00Z 2006-04-30T20:13:00Z Tomorrow is May 1st, the day pro-immigration activists stage a national boycott with millions of Latinos demanding amnesty for illegal immigrants in this country. They say they are going to flood the streets closing down Los Angeles, New York, Chicago, and other major cities. I say great! If the streets are shut down, and people can’t drive, they won’t buy gas. Maybe we can finally get that boycott of the oil companies to actually work. People have been forwarding that email to me for the last four years to not buy gas on ... tag:blog.johnmoyer.com,2006-03-19:b8f32b55-fd07-405d-b379-a7436eb49206 John Moyer 2006-03-19T20:03:00Z 2006-03-19T20:03:00Z Well it's been about three weeks since I have officially been on MySpace.com. I have to say, that when I was in junior high, I never had so many people who wanted to be my friend as I do now -- who are in junior high. My wife was going off on me. She said, "I can not believe you are on My Space talking to eighteen year old girls!" To which I said, "First off, I am not talking to eighteen year old girls. They are sixteen... Secondly, if i am going to talk to members of ... tag:blog.johnmoyer.com,2006-03-19:6b98967f-0ce5-4127-b6a7-1e23e5815add John Moyer 2006-03-19T20:02:00Z 2006-03-19T20:02:00Z Today the Deseret Morning News featured a story about the HBO miniseries Big Love. If you are not LDS - that is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints - or a member of one of it's many whacko polygamous practicing off shoots, you really have nothing to fear. I use the word whacko in reference to the whacko polygamous practicing off shoots, but I am most certain there are many who would easily apply that word to the LDS church as well. No surprise there. Recently Bill Maher commented that the Mormon Church was grateful ... tag:blog.johnmoyer.com,2006-03-19:b170728a-8383-4acb-b5df-071e36468c4d John Moyer 2006-03-19T20:01:00Z 2006-03-19T20:01:00Z There's something to the whole homeless guy working for food. I am thinking of expanding on it; maybe go down and buy twenty bags of those forty-nine cent tacos from Del Taco and then head over to The Home Depot and get the Mexican's hanging around out front to paint my house. Mexicans are always hanging around the parking lot of The Home Depot looking for work. And good for them. I just wished some Asians would hang out in front of Best Buy. I could get them to come back to my place, set up my big screen ... tag:blog.johnmoyer.com,2006-03-19:4bbd2500-4357-4213-821c-c2ce809da7ef John Moyer 2006-03-19T20:00:00Z 2006-03-19T20:00:00Z I see this homeless guy today with a sign, "Will work for food." Which I never understood. I mean if I were homeless, I wouldn't want food. I would want things like bricks, lumber, aluminum siding. Maybe at the very least a gift card to the Home Depot. I mean if you're homeless, shouldn't a house be your primary objective? Maybe that's how ginger bread houses got started. Some homeless guy worked, got food, and used it to build a house at the same time. But then he winds up getting hungry so eats it and is back to being ... tag:blog.johnmoyer.com,2006-03-19:b247a142-d1ee-484e-9ffd-a7b2f29fa88f John Moyer 2006-03-19T19:59:00Z 2006-03-19T19:59:00Z I saw an ad today for an all male gym. The ad was like, if you are tired of co-ed gyms, come here! OK, I suppose if you are gay, that has huge advantages. But really, what STRAIGHT guy would go to an all male gym? First of all, guys like to see hot chicks working out. It inspires us to work out. We want to look good. That's what I never understood about guys working out in jail. Who'd want to look good in jail? Again, I suppose some people would. But maybe the rest are working ... tag:blog.johnmoyer.com,2006-03-19:2f435ef7-ae17-45e8-b714-e643ddc68a9f John Moyer 2006-03-19T19:58:00Z 2006-03-19T19:58:00Z I can't find my wedding ring. I took it off cause it was bothering me -- no deep underlying subconscience statement on my marriage mind you - I was just feeling bloated that day. So I took it off. I guess if it was more comfortable I would have left it on. Hind sight is twenty twenty... See... when my wife and I went to buy our wedding rings we found a pair we liked. However, right next to it, was the exact same pair, only four hundred dollars more. I asked the sales woman why. She ... tag:blog.johnmoyer.com,2006-03-19:e501f889-7854-4df0-b841-643ecbba67b7 John Moyer 2006-03-19T19:57:00Z 2006-03-19T19:57:00Z Speaking of God... Why is it that only Christian denominations go door to door? Imagine if athiests did. "Hi, we are some athiest missionaries sharing a message." "Really, what's your message?" "Ah... Nothing." And you know, we always consider God to be an all knowing, all wise, omninpotent, mature, father. Did it ever occur to anybody that God just might be a scared teenager who had a baby out of wedlock? He's nervous, immature, upset that he can't go out with his buddies like he used to. Maybe that's why the world ...